


Little Love

by ayam692001



Category: Joker Game (Anime)
Genre: Character Study, During Training, M/M, Odagiri is stil hard to grasp, Rainy Night, Violent Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-28 04:48:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17780858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayam692001/pseuds/ayam692001
Summary: Jitsui takes his time thinking about what Hatano means to him.





	Little Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [unnagi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/unnagi/gifts).



> This has been written for a while (over half an year, I believe), and it was never gonna see the light of day... but unnagi has been very suportive and motivated me into posting it, so here it is!  
> Thank you so much for the suport dear!
> 
> It apears my betta doesn't remember reading this one... which is IMPOSSIBLE because nothing gets here before it goes through your eyes, Fia!

The rain was pouring incessantly outside, forcing the spies-to-be to haul themselves up in the cafeteria, the warmer room in the agency. Incidentally, the place with the easiest access to alcoholic beverages.

It was well past one in the morning and the room was nowhere near as full as it would have been a couple of months before, many students having been discharged since then, but there was still a respectable amount of men sitting here and there.

Tazaki was by himself, for once, engrossed in magic tricks. Kaminaga sat with three other students, discussing politics a bit too passionately. Fukumoto stood behind the counter, polishing glasses and pouring drinks. Odagiri leaned on the counter, chatting carelessly with the resident barman.

Jitsui sat on one of the center stools near Odagiri, his back resting against the counter, a half-smoked cigarette in one hand and a glass of gin in the other, he contemplated the scene before him. Hatano and Amari were alone at a table near the center of the room, coins and bills scattered between them, each held a handful of cards. While at first glance it appeared that both played poker, their game was another one altogether. Amari had turned into a mild- tempered educator, teaching the young man before him how to play the game... Hatano on the other hand was impersonating the clueless boy who couldn't learn how to spell his own name. The one who managed not to loose his patience would get to keep all the money on the table.

Knowing it was one of the rare times he had by himself, since Hatano, who was always at his side, was now distracted, Jitsui granted himself a moment of reflection. Born and raised in a brothel, he'd always heard the word 'love' as a freebie, given away along with any other paid service. The emotion itself was, if ever spoken about, openly criticized as an evil worst than one of those diseases costumers brought about. Love... At some point it was even his name, as the girls enjoyed calling him 'Little Love'. Even before he could walk properly they'd get him drunk and make him dance and sing to please the patrons... that was how much they treasured their “Love”, by belittling and exposing it.

Only upon meeting Hatano did Jitsui understand the unspoken plight behind the foreign emotion. Fist came the overwhelming feeling of attachment, like the smaller man belonged to him somehow... as if Jitsui had all the right and entitlement to ruin him to his heart's content. He chose to push the blame on his sexual deviance, he was a sadist after all, wanting to hurt people to achieve sexual gratification was a given. Only as time went on,he always found an excuse to not act on it, even though he was fairly certain he could have seduced Hatano into accepting his advances. Little by little Jitsui started to gravitate towards the other young man with increased frequency and nothing but good intentions. He found himself wanting to be near the other student, even if just sitting by his side reading, while the other blurted nonsense and expected to be heard... and then they were all, each on their turn, exposed to their first sessions of torture training... and Hatano was kept out of sight for a full day, only to emerge the next day as if nothing had happened. Jitsui considered then negotiating with the Lt. Colonel the possibility of taking control of Hatano's future sessions... He never actually made the request or even hinted at it, but the very fact that the thought materialized in his mind terrified him... he had considered being the one to control the torture sessions, so he could control the amount of damage Hatano might end up receiving... Desire, dependence, care... those sounded like that love everyone but prostitutes spoke of. He was absolutely revolted at himself for having ignored the signs. He did not need feelings of attachment and he certainly did not need love. But the bastard emotion crept it's way into his shriveled heart and felt so inviting he just wanted to let go and drown in it for a second, even if it meant he'd never be able to get back.

“You look like you're going to murder someone.” Kaminaga's voice interrupted his train of thought, which was even more aggravating, considering Jitsui hadn't seen him coming.

“Don't bother him.” Fukumoto's advice was sound but Kaminaga was clearly worried, not that anyone believed the sweet angelic act Jitsui usually put up, but the young man was always collected, that he was about to loose composure was an indicator that, whatever he was facing, he could use some support.

“We can't leave him like this, do I call Hatano?” That earned Kaminaga a sharp reproving look from Jitsui.

“Leave him out of this. Either way, it's no concern of yours!” Jitsui tried, although he knew those guys were worst than sharks, once they caught the scent of blood they wouldn't let go.

“Go get Miyoshi.” Fukumoto suggested with a shrug and Odagiri complied, calmly standing and walking to the far end of the room.

Jitsui wanted to protest, but refrained. At least that one knew better than to intrude, if someone was about to pester him into sobering all the way up, might as well be someone who would refrain from prying too deep.

Odagiri found his target sitting alone, an open book in front of him.

“Jitsui is acting weird.” He said plainly.

“I am not his mother and he certainly does not need one.”Miyoshi said simply, without looking up.

“Think of anyone but yourself for once, the boy is not alright!” Odagiri almost raised the volume of his voice. He sounded worried, which would be unreasonable since they all knew how to take care of themselves.

“And Hatano?” Miyoshi turned a page slowly, seemingly unaffected, yet wondering how bad could it actually be.

“Not an option.” Odagiri's voice was back to it's normal tone but his eyes betrayed his concern when Miyoshi looked up to check.

The shorter man stood up gracefully and closed his book. Not bothering to respond Odagiri he simple made his way to where Jitsui was stationed.

Walking past the center tables, Miyoshi was immediately greeted by a loud meow, followed by a couple of chuckles. Hatano, no doubt. The boy was, in more than one way, everyone's little brother, never missing a chance to tease them or call out their faults in public, but secretly the first to get in between them and danger if necessary. Miyoshi decided to ignore the provocation with an elegant shrug and walked straight to Jitsui as Odagiri took a seat near the opposite edge of the counter, resuming his silent conversation with Fukumoto.

Taking a brief look at Jitsui's stance, Miyoshi massaged his forehead and gave in, the young man clearly looked like he needed to vent out.

“Thank you, Kaminaga, I got this.” Miyoshi said, gently dismissing the other representative in favor of the man's mental sanity.

“How very kind of you, I'm off to pester Tazaki then.” He sounded a bit too relieved as he stood and left.

Miyoshi took a sit and for the first few minutes said nothing, selecting a drink of his own from the counter and taking small sips.

“You look miserable.” Miyoshi remarked, receiving in return a poisonous look.

More silence followed while Miyoshi wondered exactly how much the other had to drink to permit himself such a publicly sour mood. Finally Jitsui spoke.

“You know that feeling when you're courting death and you know it... but can't help it?” He sounded somewhat tired.

Miyoshi hummed in agreement and looked at the table where Amari and Hatano sat, bringing the glass to his lips and barely sipping. Yes, he knew the feeling of an eminent, unimpeded deadly dive.

“He is beautiful...” The smaller man barely whispered, agony making it's way through his throat.

“You have odd tastes.” Miyoshi hummed, glancing at his friend by the corner of the eye.

“I will not accept that from you of all people.” There was a subtle note of bitterness now.

For a brief moment Miyoshi visibly considered the accusation.

“You are not wrong.” He declared, noncommittally.

Both just looked ahead as Kaminaga walked behind Hatano and slapped the back of his head. The younger man turned around and reached out, trying to playfully punch the offender. Amari reached form the other side of the table, holding him down gently before coaxing him into continuing the game. That had been an act. Hatano had known Kaminaga would do that and humored him. The fact was that, despite his relaxed appearance, Hatano's default setting was tense. More often than not that translated into a slight paranoia, a healthy amount... on bad days the boy was like a high-strung violin, threatening to snap at the very intention of being played. That thought excited Jitsui the most because he could see it coming like few others could... that breaking point. He tasted guilt everytime he watched and longed to be the one to shatter Hatano, at the same time wanting to preserve him, untouched and unmarred...

“You figure he most likely knows you are starring.” Miyoshi didn't need to say the reason why, it was widely known Hatano was amazingly perceptive, even for a spy in training, like he was always aware of his surroundings.

“Tazaki is keeping him distracted.” Jitsui motioned with the head to the opposite side of the room, where Kaminaga was sitting down at Tazaki's table. The man looked like he was focused on practicing his tricks, only oddly he'd picked exclusively the ones that involved flashy-colored pieces of fabric or small smoky explosions. He placed himself close enough to the edge of Hatano's field of vision, so that the boy's eyes would deviate that way if he got slightly bored of his game with Amari.

“You see, the two of you are quite similar. Hatano and you that is.”

“Beg your pardon?” Miyoshi made no effort to hide his distaste over the affirmation.

“You both keep squirmin, naked and bleeding, right under the nose of a starved beast and you don't expect it to bite... at least Hatano does it out of innocence... and as his personal beast, I am fairly certain I have enough self control no to react.”

“The Lieutenant is hardl...”

“I am not talking about Sakuma.” Jitsui cut.

Miyoshi paled slightly and downed his glass in one go, making a mental note to never let Jitsui get in this state again if he could help it, the angel-faced youth was far too sharp. As he thought of a way to change the subject without loosing face, Amari saved him from ridicule by grunting in frustration.

Hatano shouted triumphantly and laughed, pulling all the money on the center of the table to his side. At the visible display of heartfelt joy Jitsui winced and recoiled slightly, the monster inside him raveling in the possibilities of what he could do to the joyful, innocent boy. He barely had the time to collect his expression before Hatano approached him, pockets full and smile plastered on his face.

“Lets go out to drink, my treat!” He said, beaming. Clearly he could tell something was up, but he wouldn't ask until Jitsui pointed it out himself.

“Hatano, we have classes in five hours.” Jitsui half complained with a smile.

“Fine, we'll have coffee. Lets pull an all-nighter, come on!” Hatano grabbed his arm and dragged him towards the front door.

Miyoshi whistled loudly, successfully getting everyone's attention.

“Kaminaga, should we crash their party?” He invited and followed the other two.

“Don't expect ME to pay for you guys, Miyoshi's too expensive and YOU have a drinking problem.” Hatano barked back when he saw the others tagging, rudely pointing at the tallest of the two.

“Don't be cheap, you licked Amari's pockets clean just now!” Kaminaga poured himself over Hatano's shoulders, hugging him from behind, not at all bothering to deny the accusation.

Miyoshi glanced at Jitsui, offering him a half-genuine smile, unexpectedly being awarded a grateful look in return.


End file.
